As a longtime Animaniacs fan, I think this sounds spot on!
You called this a musical! Lies!
lol anyways, for what it was, it was pretty amusing.
lol thanks :D
Short, sweet, and entertaining. :-)
Hey, great job with this! You have here a great story that really drew me in.
I have just a couple critiques on this. I realize this was a bit rushed, and I'm sure there are things you would have changed if you had spent more time on this. That being said, I think my main criticism is that the characters don't sound different enough. There were a couple times where it was hard to tell which character was speaking.
If you were going to rework this at all (you may or may not, so take from this what you will), a few things to think about:
- First, where is the merchant discovered? I hear footsteps, but I'd love to see the soundscape taken one step further. Is he in a back booth at a noisy bar? Is he beside a couple crates on a pier by the bay? Is he asleep in a hidden shop? All of those have associated noises (and background noises) that might be fun to add in.
- Second, what are the gagging sounds at 0:18, and why do they come right after Greed (I assume) finishes speaking? If he was just woken up, why was the noise made after Greed spoke, and not during?
- Third, I think the piano does a good job building the mood. However, it's introduction seem a bit abrupt.
- Last, I like Greed's change of voice at the end. However, when I first heard of it, I thought the music player was glitching up.
Overall, for an hour's worth of work, I think what you have is really good. However, I think if you do decide to spend a little time polishing it, you could have an awesome product. Either way, once again, great job!
Hm. This was surprisingly honest and effective criticism. The gagging at :18 was supposed to be him being scared immediately when waking up, but I think my greater error there was not transitioning the fear into his words. The rapid breathing works for the point of an awoken fright, as if a nightmare perhaps, but he's too quick to be like "Yeah what's up". In my mind, I was trying to credit that to the character's usually strong and subtly intimidating nature, but clearly you saw through the ruse and it was just laziness.
I was wondering if these two voices could work together. I'm glad you said they don't too well. Differentiation is hard for me, it's difficult for me to sound like two similarly voiced guys. They probably can work together, I just need to try harder. That's the exact reason I paired these two voices. Well that and I liked the two characters I created in my head.
It's supposed to be like on a pier. I wanted to start it with the merchant shouting to passersby to do business with him, with boat noises and shit in the background. But like I said, laziness, it's just the soft sound of waves which I probably made too quiet.
The introduction on the piano is insultingly abrupt, because like I said I just slapped that shit in, barely took any effort to really mix. I kinda liked the abrupt nature of it, but I think it was abrupt for all the wrong reasons.
The vocal glitching I only did because I think that effect is super fun to play with. It really had no place here, but I liked the chaos it added. That scene needed more chaos than I gave it.
This whole thing was lazy rubbish really, but thanks for taking the time to evaluate it on a relatively fair and in-depth level.
Hey, great job with this! I really liked your energy and your pairings of contrasting voices. I think there is a lot here for people to like.
My main suggestion to you is to look for ways to add more vocal variety. You had a lot of voices, but the changes were mostly based on different pitches/accents/vocal "gruffness." I could tell that they were coming from the same person. Try playing around with things like vocal speed, inflection, and where your voice is coming from (chest, throat, nose, etc). Also, you can bump up the entertainment factor/make your piece stand out more by finding good background music/sound effects.
In sum, it sounds great. Now see if you can make it even better. Good luck! :-)
Thanks for the tip. I hadn't really thought about factoring in vocal speed at all nor accompanying sound effects.
Sounds great! That's definitely a creepy story, btw. O_O
Thanks! I had lots of fun reading it, and the story is very creepy! xD
I liked the piece, but felt it wasn't as vocally interesting as I think you can make it. I felt like you were just reading a some writing with very little vocal inflection or emphasis on anything in particular.
I just gave a similar review to someone else: I would like to see you bump your energy and vocal acting up a notch. When you speak, I want to hear in your voice why you are saying what you're saying. Are you a high school student attempting to read from a textbook in a classroom? Are you trying to say a fancy speech to impress someone you're interested in? Are you trying to arguing at the dinner table? Are you trying to persuade a town/legislature/army/etc to take action? How you speak will sound different based on what you're trying to accomplish. I don't care what situation you pick, just find a reason to raise the stakes a bit.
In sum: figure out a way to make this more vocally exciting.
Good luck! :-)
Hey, I think you have a good start here. You have a nice clean recording, so I have no complaints about the quality. As for the constructive criticism, it seems like a lot of your voices sound the same. The energy and the vocal pacing (talking speed) seems pretty consistent throughout the entire demo. Speaking of energy, I challenge you to turn that up a notch (and I don't mean talk faster).
It sounds like you're just saying lines. Don't just speak lines; figure out a motivation for the lines you're saying. It kind of feels like you're missing the "acting" part of "voice acting." Write up a script (if you didn't for this one), and figure out not only what you're saying, but also -why- you're saying it.
In sum, energy! acting!
Sounds pretty good! The audio quality is a bit poor, though, which kind of interferes with hearing things properly.
Thank you, I was confused if I went to high or low pitched at points.
Yeah major drawback to having to use an inbuilt mic, all the pickup noise an low quality >.< I DO have a SM57 but no Mbox nor adapter for it.
I think you have some great examples of different voices here. I really got a feel for the different characters. My main suggestion would be to speed things up a bit. I feel like a sentence or two is plenty to establish each character. Also, if the voices are different enough (and you can arrange them in the demo so they are), you don't need the 10 second pause between voices.
Overall, it sounds good. Great job! :-)
I will perhaps keep this shorter in the future by writing my lines ahead. I was too lazy to write a script so I improvised. I will keep your suggestions in mind in the future, thank you :)
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