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View Profile Echnaret

16 Audio Reviews w/ Response

All 26 Reviews

You called this a musical! Lies!

lol anyways, for what it was, it was pretty amusing.

OffensiveWalrus responds:

lol thanks :D

Hey, great job with this! You have here a great story that really drew me in.

I have just a couple critiques on this. I realize this was a bit rushed, and I'm sure there are things you would have changed if you had spent more time on this. That being said, I think my main criticism is that the characters don't sound different enough. There were a couple times where it was hard to tell which character was speaking.

If you were going to rework this at all (you may or may not, so take from this what you will), a few things to think about:
- First, where is the merchant discovered? I hear footsteps, but I'd love to see the soundscape taken one step further. Is he in a back booth at a noisy bar? Is he beside a couple crates on a pier by the bay? Is he asleep in a hidden shop? All of those have associated noises (and background noises) that might be fun to add in.
- Second, what are the gagging sounds at 0:18, and why do they come right after Greed (I assume) finishes speaking? If he was just woken up, why was the noise made after Greed spoke, and not during?
- Third, I think the piano does a good job building the mood. However, it's introduction seem a bit abrupt.
- Last, I like Greed's change of voice at the end. However, when I first heard of it, I thought the music player was glitching up.

Overall, for an hour's worth of work, I think what you have is really good. However, I think if you do decide to spend a little time polishing it, you could have an awesome product. Either way, once again, great job!

Gianni responds:

Hm. This was surprisingly honest and effective criticism. The gagging at :18 was supposed to be him being scared immediately when waking up, but I think my greater error there was not transitioning the fear into his words. The rapid breathing works for the point of an awoken fright, as if a nightmare perhaps, but he's too quick to be like "Yeah what's up". In my mind, I was trying to credit that to the character's usually strong and subtly intimidating nature, but clearly you saw through the ruse and it was just laziness.

I was wondering if these two voices could work together. I'm glad you said they don't too well. Differentiation is hard for me, it's difficult for me to sound like two similarly voiced guys. They probably can work together, I just need to try harder. That's the exact reason I paired these two voices. Well that and I liked the two characters I created in my head.

It's supposed to be like on a pier. I wanted to start it with the merchant shouting to passersby to do business with him, with boat noises and shit in the background. But like I said, laziness, it's just the soft sound of waves which I probably made too quiet.

The introduction on the piano is insultingly abrupt, because like I said I just slapped that shit in, barely took any effort to really mix. I kinda liked the abrupt nature of it, but I think it was abrupt for all the wrong reasons.

The vocal glitching I only did because I think that effect is super fun to play with. It really had no place here, but I liked the chaos it added. That scene needed more chaos than I gave it.

This whole thing was lazy rubbish really, but thanks for taking the time to evaluate it on a relatively fair and in-depth level.

Hey, great job with this! I really liked your energy and your pairings of contrasting voices. I think there is a lot here for people to like.

My main suggestion to you is to look for ways to add more vocal variety. You had a lot of voices, but the changes were mostly based on different pitches/accents/vocal "gruffness." I could tell that they were coming from the same person. Try playing around with things like vocal speed, inflection, and where your voice is coming from (chest, throat, nose, etc). Also, you can bump up the entertainment factor/make your piece stand out more by finding good background music/sound effects.

In sum, it sounds great. Now see if you can make it even better. Good luck! :-)

Fanopeion responds:

Thanks for the tip. I hadn't really thought about factoring in vocal speed at all nor accompanying sound effects.

Sounds great! That's definitely a creepy story, btw. O_O

hjhkbn responds:

Thanks! I had lots of fun reading it, and the story is very creepy! xD

Sounds pretty good! The audio quality is a bit poor, though, which kind of interferes with hearing things properly.

Amisc responds:

Thank you, I was confused if I went to high or low pitched at points.
Yeah major drawback to having to use an inbuilt mic, all the pickup noise an low quality >.< I DO have a SM57 but no Mbox nor adapter for it.

I think you have some great examples of different voices here. I really got a feel for the different characters. My main suggestion would be to speed things up a bit. I feel like a sentence or two is plenty to establish each character. Also, if the voices are different enough (and you can arrange them in the demo so they are), you don't need the 10 second pause between voices.

Overall, it sounds good. Great job! :-)

Fanopeion responds:

I will perhaps keep this shorter in the future by writing my lines ahead. I was too lazy to write a script so I improvised. I will keep your suggestions in mind in the future, thank you :)

Not bad

It took a while to get where it was going, but I enjoyed it when it picked up around 1:20. Before that, it seemed a bit dull. Not being very familiar with this genre of music, my best advice would be to try to find a way to put the build up/excitement from later in the piece into the intro. Otherwise, others may listen to a few seconds of the song, decide it's not much, and move on (though, I suppose whether you care about those people is your decision).

Sorry for the vague review. I hope you were able to get something out of it.

Kassich responds:

Good point, i need to hook the listeners earlier... gotta remember that! Thanks for listening all the way through, and also for the advice!

Sounds good

My main comment is to turn the piano down a bit when you're recording it. It sounds like it was recorded at too high a level, and thus the quality is a bit off. Other than that, everything else sounds pretty good.

lantaren responds:

That's a good review, considering that the piano is from the nexus VST xD but I can play it on a real piano too, I just have no rythem.

and thatnks :D

Not bad

Not bad, though not great. I think the old man voice is a bit of a stretch for you (assuming that is you). I wouldn't mind hearing you voice a character that's a little closer to your actual age.

thekmanproductions responds:

Yea, My voice was not at its best... I usually do it better but we did this in a hurry!

Pretty good

Not quite my music style, but it sounds really good. I like your voice. I wish there were more singers like you on Newgrounds. :-)

RedButcheress responds:

Thanks Echnaret, I hope to put some more stuff up soon, hopefully my own stuff too... just fighting with my computer :(

Age 35, Male

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